11 is a good number

This week has been both uplifting and difficult. Here I am, almost 4 weeks post my surgery, still struggling with a lot of symptoms and a lengthy recovery process, plus with all the other health issues that happened before I had surgery. Some days, it really feels like a black hole that has no way out and it seems impossible to keep your hopes up so you just feel like you’re losing it all and you’re losing yourself in this battle.

There’s a lot of talk among the cancer survivors about different perspectives on what winning a battle is. I personally feel a battle was won by every single person who got the damn disease and still lived their life the way they possibly could given the circumstances. Sometimes it means you can put a pretty dress on and conquer the world and on some other days, you stay in bed crying and too weak to get up, yet you’re still here, living, breathing, fighting. Some of us crossed over The Rainbow Bridge but were never defeated. The rest of us are still here carrying on in whatever way and shape we’re able to be.

Yesterday was a very difficult day for me. I just couldn’t find any comfort inside my physical body or any hopes in my soul, but today, I’m desperately trying to connect my body and my mind into a cohesive team so we can cry it out but continue fighting. But, the most important day was on Tuesday, when I had my big annual cancer screening check up. After hours of tests and doctors, I finally got the news that I was still in remission (or in NED as it’s called, no evidence of disease). The first thing I did, I burst into tears. The second thing I did, I had a big piece of cake.

So, whatever good or bad days I’m having this week, the most important day was still on Tuesday. With all the health battles and complications I’ve been dealing with this year, yet I’m still cancer free at least. That rounds up 11 years cancer free! It’s a lot of months, days, minutes, seconds I got to spend here and see my child growing up!

11 is a good number and I need more, a lot more. So, say a prayer for me or just say congratulations!

Diana – 11, cancer – 0.

Cheers! 🍾🥂