The Beauty Within

October 15, 2012

When did you feel the most beautiful? Perhaps when you descended the stairs to meet your high school prom date. I bet you felt it walking down the aisle only minutes away from saying “I do” to your spouse. Maybe you thought you looked especially pretty just waking up and meeting a gaze of your adoring partner. Somehow our opinion always rests on a reflection in other people’s eyes to feel beautiful, we need to rely on an outside approval and societal views on appearances to feel accepted, rarely our self-confidence comes from within. But it really should be the other way around. Your opinion is the only one that truly matters!

When I was undergoing surgeries and chemo treatments, it was far from any glamorous experience you can ever imagine. My body resembled a tic-tac-toe board with all the scars and black and blue marks, I was bold, not even eyelashes or eyebrows, pale and barely standing on my feet. Yet somehow, I still don’t know why, it was the only time in my life when I felt a complete self-acceptance and love, I felt absolutely beautiful and strangely whole. I can’t tell you why and how this happened, maybe it was some hallucinogenic state from all the chemo drugs I was on, or maybe my human spirit, crushed by the physical burden of treatment, gave way to the Eternal Inner Self, and true divine beauty was able to shine through. But as that period fade away and turned to recovery and then remission and now being cancer free, self-doubts and striving for unattainable perfection started to visit my thoughts yet again. As life took over, hair grew back, some color appeared on my cheeks, and scars became thin and barely visible so did the beauty. Isn’t it ironic and particularly sad that we get it wrong every single time?! We find beauty among complete distortion and delusion that has nothing to do with reality and seek answers where only nonsense exists.

We’ve perfected the story of Alice in Wonderland to the point that we don’t know how to get back Home. Yes, I’m guilty of it myself!

What’s Cooking This Week

When speaking of beauty in the kitchen, to me all foods are beautiful, especially the ones that are clean, unprocessed and full of nutrients. Pretty presentation is just that, icing on a cake, it makes the food more appealing but doesn’t change the essence if the dish is full of junk. This recipe is beautiful in its simplicity, and “icing on top” provides a perfect blend of being pretty and healthy.

Pink Series: Recipe # 5

Baked Salmon with Horse Radish Sauce

1.5 – 2 lbs of salmon

1 Tbspoon of lemon juice

1 tspoon any fish seasoning (I used Herbs de Provence)

8 Tbspoons of Horse Radish sauce (both liquid and pulp)

2 Tbspoons of mayo

1 tspoon of seasoning blend (I used Herbamare)

salt, pepper

Wash and pat dry the salmon. Place it in a foil or baking dish, drizzle with lemon juice and sprinkle fish seasoning, salt and pepper.

Bake at 375 degrees until the fish is flaky but not overdone. In a mean while make the sauce. In a blender combine together horse radish sauce (I used the one with beets to add a splash of flavor and color dimension plus some extra nutrients, if you don’t like it, use the white one), mayo, seasonings and salt/pepper.